Wednesday, May 26, 2004
(jukebox:Solitaire by Clay Aiken)
Seriously.. I can't get to sleep..damnations dammit..been feeling extremely restless..this fucken irritates the hell out of me..ouh yea..feelin a lil' bit alright due to the soulful singing of clay aiken..
AHah..here's somethin...a letter from her..it was so so so long ago when she never got bored writing to me everyday in class..memories they call it...Of all letters, i find this rather 'cute'...as in..the normal stuffs that will sure happen in relationships..k go??
"Abg Zak,
I've got some conflict going on in class.It's between my old friends and myself.They dun agree wif me just steppin' away like nothin' from them.Recess i ngan Fatin.Diorg tak suke atin coz they say she got the bitchy behaviour.I dunno wat to do.Diorg plak my best friends since sec one.I've no comment bout nebody.Bout that friday last week,Tini said that "Dianah, bleh pegi dgn Zak dier ngan kawan baru dier tu(Fatin)".And i got it all wrong too. I misunderstood them.At one mornin' assembly,I pernah cakap kat Tini yang Hafiz mcm kental.Wat i mean was since it's the first year they wear long pants,they look awkward.And now she took it to heart.Siape yang i nak pilih seyy? Fatin is a nice,understanding,soft-hearted,caring and a loving friend.I want to be her friend.I want to be their friend.I also want to be with u.You amik i hari-hari pon jadi masalah.You taulah,kan everyday i meet u then i tak join diorg, tu pon diorg binget.I tak salahkan diorg ar.It's my decision that changes the whole situation.Its been two years,we go home together.Everyday,and suddenly I rapat sangat ngan you.Nak salahkan sape?U ngan diorg,I lebih sayangkan you,but doesn't mean I tak sayang diorg as friends.Fatin pon I sayang."
Difficulty choosin...
making decisions...
A new friend? An old friend? a boy/girl-friend?..
So yea..I love the side of her when she's neutral..ouh the lovey-dovey me..ahah...The thoughts of reminiscing the past just eases my mind in a way or another...
Lookin back...I hated myself for throwin tantrums by kicking the dustbin just by venting my anger when im angry at her...No I did not for once hurt her physically...but there was once i grabbed her wrist tightly and there u go...blue-black...heh...
The funniest cum awkward moment was when i said..."takmo hug....ramai orang lar tengok"...that was when she wanted to hug me in public when i sort of merajok...funnie i tell u...then when the public was clear i went to hug her and she said..."takmo...public."
The day i would never forget was when she said "Its now or never."She wanted to break up.I hugged her tight like a pillow..The scene was at the park in front of my apartment....how sweet..hehe..nonsensical me..
Remembered cycling alone with no intention of where to go at around 1 in the mornin blasting to music of my discman when i was sort of depressed...
Of the days and occasions that i gave in...We did break and patch things up a few times but fate doesnt allow it no more...
Pardon me people for the emo entry......ahah yea...
*Updates on underedge gigs...
We'll be playin this sunday at 2035 hours at cineleisure orchard..
On Monday at rp..at around 1300 hours..
yeap..its free.
either 2 or 3 gigs for the month of june...and counting...cheyy...~heh.
A lot has to be done...hopefully it goes well....for underedge yea?
Sunday, May 23, 2004
k damit...pisses me off...argh damn...am not in a mood..just a click on the 'back' button...and its gone...ar dumb...silly me...nvm though..gig was ok afterall..blame it on my inactiveness..fgm was great though...new sound..great job!~ fpm is now more unpredictable...thats what i like..the day ahead of me??hmmmm...we'll just see...ok my nasi is calling me...
Sunday, May 16, 2004
(jukebox: Mordecai by between the buried and me)
In a sportsbike, as a pillon(is tt how u spell it?) in an expressway at 130km/h...and pressure and acceleration's fighting against u..The only way was to hold tightly to the 'back-holder' of the bike if u get wat i mean...so yea...i dreaded the feeling that i chose to enjoy free transport.but it was worthwhile..that is.. the experience and some learning too..teeheee...
"Asal perot dier cam boncit gitu?"
It was a redman..so it was normal to comment on the vehicle beside u..In this case...it was a super 4 bike..its rider was a chinese and the pillon,his girlfriend most prolly...The comment was meant for the pillon...
"
Acam? Challenge dier ar..." (ahah...the playful and mischievious me..)
"betol per?"
"eh...hmmm...tak tak...main main ajer.."
By the time...it was a green man and we sped off...hah madness...Before that, while topping up petrol for the bike..he asked me...
"Pelan tak tadi?"
Sarcastic?yea...hahaha....and i said tat was killer fast...and he laughed..but i know he meant well...tat was his normal speed on the expressway...wowowo...scary...and sometimes when he's running late..he would run to speed of closer to 160. Thats the tradition of riding a motorbike..BUT.. safety is a first and must...hope that everything goes well for whoever rides bike, or is in the process of taking license, pillon...etc...Goes out to my uncles, friends...all that i know ar..k go..
So yea..tat was me, abg nizam and his NSR...
It was a long and quite a hectic day..In short..its an OK day..ahakz..reached the
majlis at around 1..I was doing a
rewang..some sort of work for a wedding ceremony for the Malays..basically...it was washing plates and glasses an bowls and what else...hmmm..yea..collecting the plates from the guests too...At the end of the day...u will get paid..depends...
YEs...it was worth the long hours..
Did i tell u that there was a live band?And yea.. the bass lines for dangdut music was groovy...no wonder the name...dang-dut..tats how the bass sounds wen it is slap..some sort ar...dun u think so?
I'm begining to grow a liking to girls with hair that is flowy and natural...It simply rocks...Simple and neat..
As usual...and expected...there were a lot of
anak-anak makcik too...One of them as the above..Hair that simply turn me on..yea!~
And it was the firt time that i did got any scolding for doing the work..mainly because there were not so many guests..Moreover there were a perfect number of workers..not too much..not too little..
HE too was working together with me...Crazy though...find myself secretly laughing at him...but why??ahah..i dunno myself..Overall..he's ok lar actually..
It all ended with me not looking at her or smile...If you ever read this...I'm sorry..You know who u are...I'll always treat u as who u are...heart u always...
And yes...
Chris Cheney of The Living End is a perfect example of a brilliant songwriter and guitarist...Rockman he is!~
oh yeah...
Anyway....
Here's the quiz thingy for yall...Try it out...U'll be amazed by the outcome...ahah..turned out to be quite true...
Wednesday, May 12, 2004
"I've been watching u... alalalalal...."(jukebox:??? by ub40)
Actually...there are few things in my head..in fact thoughts that flooded my mind yesterday...but due to the creation of panadol..i dozed off...tats crap... first....its about "zakaria he doesn't know i exist"...secondly it about me and dan and dan and me...ahah..only dan knows this...no no...we are no gay...chill eh..and lastly about time...sometimes we human beings like to complain about us having little time to do so many things..but in fact....hmmm..ok..update more tonite..hopefully...gotta go meet
hoobasdown. ya...and a quiz thingy..later aye??
Friday, May 07, 2004
(jukebox:ebolarama by Every Time I Die)
"Can you see that I am needing.Begging for so much more.Than you could ever give.And I don’t want you to adore me.Don’t want you to ignore me.When it pleases you.And I’ll do it on my own"
Yes.. i was singin' ta maself the tune of muscle museum..The unexpected happen in just a second after my singing.. strange huh?yet it was so coincidential.....
"hello...hmmm...abang eh?"
Bewildered and stunned my reply was..
"ya..erm..sape tu..?"
sometimes though we have to be 'mean'.i knew it was her afterall yet i had to ask the stupidest question...and the conversation continues.... can't disclose though the rest of it..hehurr..it was a rare occasion that she call me...so im sure there's something from her...and she needed help..something important...wooOOoo....ok enuff..
The crew today was mad...for more info please kindly proceed to fie's blog..hah..one more person though to add to the crew...raziz!~heh..catchin' up and stuffs..cool...sadly..yazid wasn't there...not sure though of his absent.Although it was like walking aimlessly and basically sitting around waitin...im sure there will always be a moment where we will laff our asses off...thanks to the oh-so-brilliant amin..yea!~ahah yea...it was unplanned afterall so no happenin stuffs..but i bet we did enjoy each other's company...maybe a bowling trip next time around..how bout it guys?
remembered reading alif's blog few days ago and stumbled upon a fortune telling thingy..here goes.....
>Live Life To Ur Fullest
If you were born on the 4th, 13th, 22nd, 31st of any month
>you are Number 4.
>If you were born on the 8th, 17th, 26th of any month then
>you are number 8.
>Number 4
>You are very stubborn and very hard working. You have rough word
>power which might put lots of people away from you. You may
>cause nuisance to others if you are a man. You often understand
>others well and their problems. If you are a girl you are very
>good with studies and arts. If you are guy you spend most of the
>time after girl friends. You will have fun life with mates &
>girls. Your friends will spend your time & money and get away
>with their life and you will become empty handed and don't know
>what to do, so be careful!! You love to spend anyway!!! Your
>good will is you are always there to help family and friends.
>You always fall in love in younger age as well.
>You need to be careful of people who will take advantage of your
>kind heart and beware of your relations too. You are practical,
>patient, persistent, a bit old-fashioned.
>
>You best matches are 1, 8. Good matches are 5, 6, 7.
>Number 8
>You are a very strong personality, there's no one out there will
>understand you. You are very good at pointing your finger at
>some thing!!! You are more likely to suffer from the early age
>poverty. If your times are not good you might lose either of
>your parents and end up looking after your entire family. You
>often suffer all the way in life. The problems will not allow
>you to study further, but you will learn the life in a very
>practical way!!! You are the one will fight for justice and may
>die in the war too!!! You are normally very reserved with
>handful of friends and most of the time, live life lonely and
>always prepared to help. Well, once you get marry (which is
>often late) then your bad lucks will go away a bit, then you
>become safe. Beware of un-expected problems from the terror,
>government, poisonous animals & accidents. You are someone with
>discipline, persistence, courage which will take you to the
>Success!! You are a Great part of a team, family and a fighter!!!
>
>Your Best matches are 1, 4, 8. Good match is 5.
My birthday's on the 22nd and...her's...on the seventeenth..
ahah..yea..
big fuckin deal?!~
although its just a fortune telling thingy...
its like 'WoW' man...
nah....
its not real though...
so why bother??heh...
but..
STILL??
okk...enuff....
hop>>>
Monday, May 03, 2004
(jukebox:pachebel canon in d minor by wynton marsalis)
a classic, relaxing and soothing track.
hopefully...it can help me recall back what i have type earlier on..the damn computer had to hang for no reason...so where are we?hmmm....
*recalling*
its funny how people judge a book by its cover....
feedbacks though are lessons to be learn from...
life is full of hypocrisy..
We can't escape from being a hypocrite...
It's either hypocrite in a big or small way...heh...
factual as it seems...that somehow sums up to MAN being flaw...
again....
only those who know you well will know you...
and that is why such passing remarks from someone can sometimes brin' u down..
good....heh...
to all the people who i have let down...
my greatest apology.......
sometimes though we dun realise that we had go too far beyond...
that's when a spank to your head comes in handy...
it had better be early....
bottling feelings are fatal...indeed...yes...
just think wat the outcome would be...
phew....haiz...
conflicts, obstacles,etc....in life.....
it makes u want to be a better man...
yea...thats life...more to it though......
yah...so tats about it...This is what i have typed earlier on although there's a bit of alteration. Can't remember all though. Wat do you expect? Human beings man..kehehehurr...
Yes. Do check out a band from berlin,
SEEDis. If your into reggae, rock, soul,etc...they are the one for u. All fused into one. Brill!
